The sermon for this Sunday was not recorded because we held service in the Newport News Park July 10th to say a fond farewell to our friends the Boardmans. The text of that sermon is included here. The Boardmans are greatly missed!
This is one of those occasions where a Pastor is hard pressed to use the right words. Even as I began to write I did not know all the appropriate words to say. This is partly because I have known Phil and Lisa long enough to have known them long before I was ever their Pastor. In so many ways, we have shared so much of our journey that I have literally forgotten many of the times we have shared. But even those forgotten memories have been part of the forging of a friendship that I am sure will last the rest of our lives.
And friendship is what I want to talk about today. The Bible is a wonderful book. It speaks to so many nuances of our lives even sometimes when it is just a phrase. And when I began to think about what to share this Sunday, the verse that came most readily to mind was Proverbs 18:24 – “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Now many would say that Scripture is a “no brainer:” of course you must show yourself friendly to your friends! But when you study the verse, you learn that its implication is a little bit different. You might read it this way to make its meaning clearer: “A man with many insincere friends must keep them entertained to retain their friendship. But there are real friends who stick with you even more than family – closer than even a brother.”
Phil has been one of those friends in my life. Your circle of intimate friends in life is usually very small. Phil has been in my circle and in some ways has been closer during my adult life than both my brothers. Now I have to tell you a few stories just because that is what friends do. Of course I have to tell you my favorite early stories of Phil and Lisa.
The first one is that when Jen and I moved here in 2003 with no children (and for me over 60 pounds lighter), Phil was about to transition then just as he is now. Phil was a young lawyer not long out of Law School with a struggling practice and the opportunity presented itself for him to go to Florida to work for the Law Firm he is actually now going to work for. As a result, it seemed just perfect timing that Jen and I would move here and be in the position to buy his house. It all made sense so Phil and Lisa started packing and we signed the contract and Jen and I were ready to move into their house when they moved away. We were happy with these arrangements and really glad things were working out so well for our transition into career military life.
Then things unraveled. Phil’s planned move came to a halt and the next thing I know Phil is having a difficult conversation trying to nicely ask to void our contract to buy his house. Now, here I am a young military guy with no children already in transition. Do you think for a second that I was going to hold Phil to his contract when it was his only settled home where he, his wife, and two small boys had already made so many memories? So of course I told Phil that we could void the contract and Jen and I would find another place to live. I have never regretted that decision though I have tried hard to give Phil a rough time about it ever since!
Phil felt so badly about the sudden disruption of our plans that after he would get off work after long days in the office and I would get off work at Langley, we would drive around in the winter darkness sometimes as late as midnight looking for houses to buy. Back then during the housing boom they were hard to find in the price range and timetable needed by a lowly E2.
But to give you a glimpse of Phil’s position back then, I have to tell you another little story. We were looking for houses and I believe it was in some neighborhood off of King Street. As we drove through one of the little neighborhoods near midnight, we saw some furniture out in the street next to the curb ready for trash pickup. As the lights of the car hit it, Phil decided to get out and take a look. The next thing you know he is putting a coffee table in his trunk saying something like, “This will look good in my office.” The incongruity of a successful lawyer furnishing his office with curbside furniture struck us as quite amusing. It became a running joke after that about all kinds of things, that “They might look good in Phil’s office.”
Thus began a fast friendship that has endured across the past nearly 13 years. But my story is not the only story to be told here today. All of us have stories about Phil & Lisa and the boys. All of us can look back and remember where we first met them. When I first met Ethan & Logan, they were really little – look at the nearly grown young men they have become! But what is so striking to me is how that Phil and Lisa in their own way really have brought all of us together. Had we not met Phil, I would never have known the Stence Family. Had we not attended church in Richmond with the Boardmans we might never have developed a friendship with the Smith family or even met the Luck family through whom we then met Belinda and Jesse & Sophia. Had Phil not met the Gardners at family camp they might never have moved here. Had I not known Phil I would never have met Mike, or Jeff, or Jack, or Chuck. The fact is that if it were not for Phil and Lisa, our little church would not exist. They were the spark that set it ablaze. They have in so many ways been the matchmakers to bring us together and all for the sake of following Christ together. You can see how integral Phil and Lisa have been to our friendships and our lives.
Time fails me to share so many more years of memories: Of watching Phil and Lisa endure the heartbreaking loss of a child with grace and faithfulness to God amid it all; of sharing the celebration of the gift of Addison that helped to heal the wound; of laboring together to build three different churches; of seeing Phil behind closed boardroom doors or working together late at night when no one else would see; of road trips and family fun; of cheesecake & WoT & shooting guns; of watching their lives of consistent integrity and character across the years; and I know we all could add much more.
Thus it is with great sadness and sense of loss that we bid them farewell. But I do not want to minimize even that sense of loss. For, as I have explained to my children, that too is a part of valuing someone highly. If you feel no sadness or loss at their departure, then it is likely you did not value them highly. If however, you are deeply moved, it shows how much they have meant to you. So I embrace even those emotions today, for Phil and Lisa and Ethan and Logan and Addison, you have been the dearest of friends. You will forever be treasured in our hearts.
But…here is where I must continue the sermon…For not only am I a friend, I am also now a Pastor. And from the friendship that you have glimpsed in my memories, I hope that you begin to understand what genuine friendship looks like. A friendship is built through time by shared experience both good and bad. It is built in the intimate moments together where conversations and thoughts are shared, where memories are made, and even where forgiveness is given.
Do you understand then the significance of James 2:23? “And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.” And in the Greek, the word is philos or “dear friend.” Did you know today that God wants to be your dearest friend? But the only way such a friendship can be had is if you commit to walk with Him and share with him the intimate journey of friendship. He is willing to share your good times and bad. He wants to be near you in the conversations of your life and the thoughts of your heart. He wants to be a part of your memories and He extends all the forgiveness you will ever need. He loves us and wants to walk with us. He demonstrated His love for us by laying down His life for us that we might be reconciled to Him to walk with Him. Since He first walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden in the cool of the day, it has always been his design. Walking with Him in this way will bring you the greatest peace and joy even in the darkest of times – even more joy than it is to walk with Phil and Lisa! ;-)
Today, if you are not walking with God in Christ through the Holy Spirit in close communion, I urge you to answer His knock upon the door of your heart and let Him keep His promise of friendship: “Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”
Phil and Lisa, our journey together has been a joy. I pray for your future endeavors that God will bless you and your family – that you will ever stay close to God and walk with Him in friendship and sweet communion. I pray that the friendships you have facilitated here will grow deeper and stronger. I commend you into the hands of our Father, Lord, and Friend for His safekeeping and care and bid you Godspeed.
Let’s gather round and pray together for them together one more time.
Today is all about the Boardmans so you are welcome to join us in celebration now. Stay to eat, take pictures, and fellowship as long as you like.
